consuming

God is totally doing it. Answering my prayer, that is. I just want to say it quickly (probably not artfully, either--sorry). I can't stay here long.

I've been praying, "Increase my hunger for You, Lord." And subtly, over the last weeks, the Spirit has been saturating my soul, making me desire Him over the things that had formerly had first place in my heart--a television show (this is embarrassing to say), catching up on my blog reading, my own blog, a good book, sleep--all these normal activities had taken precedence over Jesus. I never thought of them as first place in my heart, but a tough look at my day-to-day quickly reveals the truth of the matter. Jesus has been confined to a 15-minute block of time in my day, exercise, check, praying, check, Bible, check. And should I miss it--sorry, Lord, guess what You have to say will have to wait until tomorrow. How in the world did it come to this??? "Jesus will have to wait???" Whoa.

The really sad part is, I'm too weak to change. I just can't. I've tried. FOR YEARS. And for whatever reason, Jesus has graciously showed me a way out--the way I've always been taught but lamely NEVER done--I'm asking Jesus to change me. Again. And again. And again. As often as I can remember. And softly, slowly, my heart begins to long for something different. A quiet revelation that this email, this movie, this book can wait. But I can't wait for Jesus. What's really going on here??? He is wooing me.

I'm asking Him for an insatiable appetite.

Don't stop, Lord. Keep me hungry.

Mmm. I hear a rumbling.